Larry, we hardly knew ye..........

Well Senators and fellow citizens, Judge Porter from the great State of Minnesota has ruled and it now appears- pending possible appeal- that Sen. Craig’s mailed in plea of Guilty to the charges of Disorderly Conduct in the Minneapolis Airport Toilet will stand up in Court.
In a rare and sound bit of jurisprudence the Honorable Judge Porter stated,

“The Defendant, a career politician with a college education, is of, at least, above average intelligence…he knew what he was saying, reading and signing.”

Fucking OUCH!

King Solomon couldn’t have done it any better and have you ever read a judgment that was so brutally honest, sober, fair, scalding and wickedly sarcastic all in the same incriminating package. Christ, this legal bodyslam alone manages to restore my faith in the Justice system as it now lives and breathes. I don’t know what Judge Porter eats for breakfast but give me a barrel of it!

As for the Senator with the newest misdemeanor record- Keep your head up, Larry! You’re in good company and your club will undoubtedly be filled with more fresh Republican faces (the good money is on Sen. Stevens from Alaska, who knew they had corruption in Alaska?) before the next election year. In a solid show of old fashioned gumption and new age chutzpah and as a real gay burr in the Please-believe-we’re-super-straight Republican saddle Sen. Craig has reversed his position (insert pun here) and proclaimed that he will NOT resign his Senate seat as previously announced and will instead serve out the remainder of his term until Jan. ’09.

GO LARRY, IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY…..GO LARRY IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY!
GO…GO…GO….GO….GO…….GO!

But please Senator………..get yourself a nice boyfriend, spend the money if you have to, settle down and stop creeping around public toilets. It really isn’t very becoming Sir.