Monday, September 1, 2008
Lazy Sunday- A Lovely Beast
I don't know what it is with me and Sundays but this one was strange indeed. Despite a debilitating hangover I managed to fulfill my earliest professional obligations before repairing to Starchunks just south of Shijo/Kurasama around about 5ish.
I grabbed my drink and, seeing as there was no seating available indoors, headed to the small patio that faces the street to wait for my meeting. The only open table was next to a fashionably young, hip, J-couple (She- Slender, lovely and stylish, He- Handsome, slim and yet more stylish) and I moved straight to it.
As I dropped my bag and planted my ass a sexy young girl wearing Capri pants and a cute, flimsy yellow blouse came running off the sidewalk, high heels clicking the beat, and made a very definite, malicious beeline for the fine filly cozying up to Mr. Playboy.
“DARE GA.......?” (Who the fuck is that?)
Was all she managed to say before said Playboy very wisely intercepted her, forcefully grabbing her by both arms, and pulled her away from the scene before she could inflict any damage.
And please trust me...this girl wasn't there to argue, she was there to FIGHT!
That little cutie had murder in her eyes and violence coursing through her slender body and any blind man could see it as plain as day. Somewhat amazingly, considering her reckless disposition, Playaplaya somehow managed to keep hold of her as he wrangled her down the sidewalk and away. Crisis and bloodshed gratefully averted!
I glanced over to the Other Woman and she greeted me to a warm, open, wonderful smile that said,
shrug, “Well....Shit Happens.”
Slightly confused, as I often am on those rare occasions when women smile in my direction, I did not instantly respond to her invitation as perhaps she was expecting and has expected all her adult life. But the smile was wonderful so I almost involuntarily glanced back and soaked it up again. She was about 5 feet away and burning a hole in me so I smiled back.
It was the cue she was waiting for.
She got up and moved to my table, sitting next to me, and we instantly began an easy, casual conversation as if we were long lost friends meeting by chance. We both tried Japanese at first before I, gratefully, abandoned it and stuck to English. She was fine with this. She had spent a year in the USA in High school and her English was delightfully fun. She had visited the City I was born in and liked it just fine. She had also worked in France and could speak passable French she informed me. She now lived and worked in Osaka. She expressed interest in my tattoos. She gave absolutely no impression that she was anything other than calm, cool and perfectly collected on this lovely Sunday afternoon.
Her name was Kana.
I have no idea why Kana-chan chose to sit and talk to me other than the fact that my face (perhaps entire persona) probably looks like good company if there's going to be trouble but we did not discuss either the incident or the possible repercussions until she asked me about my immediate plans.
I have a little business in about 20 minutes, I told her, and yourself?
“Oh.....I don't know.......I'll probably wait for him to come back and then just go home.”
I expressed my sympathy but gently mentioned that, given the passionate nature of the volatile Female done wrong, I doubted very seriously that Johnny Studwell would be showing his face in the vicinity....at least today.
We both laughed long and hard at that one.
Kana guessed my age (30, so I knew she was lying), I guessed CrazyGirl's relation(Wife) to Mr. Playboy and we both laughed some more before, lo and behold, Playplaya actually came slinking back up the sidewalk to retrieve his abandoned booty.
He looked like he just walked through a lions cage wearing a pork chop suit but Kana-chan did not hesitate as he grabbed her hand. She glanced back at me as he lead her away and treated me to her alarmingly sweet smile before they exited, stage right.
Ain't Love grand?
That's what I was thinking when the Drama kicked into the next level.
Only seconds after their hasty departure CrazyGirl in the Capri's came flying onto the scene, enter stage left.
She had obviously tracked Mr. Playboy from wherever they had parted and was now bound and determined to scratch Kana-chan's eyes out or, if not that, rip off a piece of her skinny ass. Luckily he was able to intercept her, once again, before she could complete her mission but this time it wasn't so easy. They went K1 on the sidewalk for some minutes (all credit to Mr. Playboy who somehow managed not to harm her although she was not at all interested in returning that particular favor) before he finally corralled her, hailed a taxi and, amazingly, wrestled her into it where she then proceeded to beat him like a wadaiko drum.
The cabbie, shocked and no doubt debating the sanity of his passengers, did not move for several minutes until CrazyGirl either ran out of steam or Playa managed to momentarily calm her as she finally ended her assault and the cab headed north on Kurasama.
Kana-chan, during the entire ordeal, calmly surveyed the scene from her safe distance as if something were stuck to the bottom of her shoe.
Then she snapped her phone open and began working the buttons.
I opened my newspaper and dug in.
Kana returned to Starfucks yet this time made no move to join me, only glancing shyly in my direction with an exceptionally cute oops-I-did-it-again expression on her lovely face, but she was working that keitai like an octopus that just knocked back a triple espresso shot.
I had plans to visit a Beer Garden later that evening and was seriously considering inviting her to join me. I figured that she could probably use a drink and that my company would do her a world of good.
I am very egotistical in this way.
But, offset to my ego, I have 4+ decades of experience and have been on both ends of these little comedies (which often turn tragic) so I keenly decided that any aggressive infiltration into this scene by yours truly was not strictly required. I held my cards and waited for the hand to play.
Now, and forever, Women can always afford to wait for their cards but for a Man this strategy often leaves you with empty pockets and a fistful of shit but wait, I did.
“Sometimes nuthin' is a real cool hand.”
10 mins. to go before my meeting.
At the 5 minute mark CrazyGirl came storming back up the sidewalk birddogging her prey, wild passion blinding her inflamed eyes, as Kana-chan alertly ducked behind some customers inside.
CrazyGirl entered wildly Stage Left, exited angrily Stage Right.
Gone Baby gone!
Kana-chan slid carefully into the lobby of the Hotel next door, working that ketai!
More minutes went past before Mr. Playboy, harassed, disheveled, beaten yet unbowed, crept carefully into the lobby to maintain his rendezvous.
They exited into a waiting taxi-
She looking like a Princess ready to receive her court,
He looking like a shellshocked warrior on the lookout for sniper fire and land mines.
But exit they finally did!
I sipped my coffee. Meeting late. Great.
The final tally?
They were both sweet little numbers, quite similar in terms of type- Slender, tall, medium length black hair, small breasts, flat ass, long legs, sharp like knives. So I guess that's the way he likes them but I can't really agree with his final choice for the evening.
Kana-chan was definitely dynamite but there was just something in CrazyGirls eyes.......
But this is my problem, you see?
Well I hope, for the girls sake, that Mr. Incredible is either very, very rich or, at the very least, packing a powerful pistol and the willingness to use it.
And I observe that in some ways he is a lucky man but, right now, I don't really want to trade places with him.
Not tomorrow either.
Later that night I made it over to the Beer Garden next door to Kyoto Tower. The brew was ice cold, the grub decent and I thought about those wonderful girls every time I lit one up.