Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Odds and Ends-Fall (and I do mean fall) Edition

I've lived in Japan for over 3 years now. The last time I saw a fat chick was about 3 months ago, before that I can't remember. The fat broad was a white tourist decked out in giant blue jeans that you could sail a small boat with and she was surrounded by an equally obese herd of companions that blithely blocked the sidewalk and mostly blotted out the Sun as they waddled and gawked.
This is a fact.
And a good reason to live here.

I've got a modest proposal. You got $700,000,000,000 (I never get tired of looking at that number) to spend?
Pour it all into Iraq. Right now. Today.
Then get out of Afghanistan (read your history, fighting on 2 fronts) or quit pulling Bin Laden's dick, one or the other.
Give every Man in uniform everything they might need to achieve all out final victory. Give it 6 months to simmer before serving. Then give the Iraqi People the giant Green Zone multi-billion dollar complex we've erected in Baghdad as our generous gift to their fucked up future (and past) and get the fuck out. Forever.
The Big Money Men will just have to take a hit. The Economy will have to correct itself. The Great American Middle Class will have to suffer, again.
Remember this for the next time.
The Bush Doctrine started it. Let's finish it and move on.

Youth is beauty, beauty Youth. But why do they have to talk?

I like to read Hollywood gossip websites for 3 reasons.
1. It's very easy. I can finish the entire reading of most blogs in the approximate time required to take a good piss. (and yes, I do think this is an apt metaphor)
2.They all feature fresh photos of lovely, luscious celebutards graciously flashing their tits, asses and pussies.
3.Good for a laugh.
But you wanna know something? I'm old and I live in a strange Land. I really don't know who half these people are and I really don't care.
This is absolutely and undoubtedly a good thing.

Vice President Palin? You cannot be serious.
This is a hideous joke, right?

At this point I can't decide whether the Cubs are a comedy or a tragedy (although I firmly believe they're one or the other) but next year is 101 so the pressure is officially off, the excuses officially ended and all curses lifted forever.
So what's gonna be the reason next season?
Yea, I'm bitter. Shit, Tampa Bay is still playing.
Can I get a witness?

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