Monday, June 25, 2007

Odds and Ends- Sports Edition

Ladies, I’ll keep it simple. We like sports because-

1). There are sensible rules and physical dimensions that rarely if ever change.

2). We completely understand these rules and have since we were children.

3). When playing, we know that if we play hard and correctly, most of the time we’re going to win and if we don’t at least we’ll feel satisfied with our performance.

4). Communication is stripped to its bare minimum in all sports, much of it being non-verbal, and we never have any problems understanding the other guy. This is considered a plus. A HUGE plus.

5). When watching we feel like those children that we used to be; that is to say happy and not concerned about the future, jobs, relationships, money or lack of same.

6). Unless, of course, we’ve got a bet down, in which case there is no single more compelling non-sexual experience in life than watching your team trying to cover the spread.

7). In sports, most of the time, it’s better if you don’t think too much.


I recall once seeing Walter Payton go duck hunting with Curt Gowdy (circa '77) on “The American Sportsmen”. I forgot who the celebrity guest was and while the show didn’t make me want to blast birds out of the sky it did look like a damn good time. Howabout Jimmy Johnson going Bass fishing with Neon Deion Sanders with Kevin Costner along for the ride? You can’t sell that as a half hour of fun TV?

The 1985 Chicago Bears defense was the hands-down best of all time. The roughest, toughest, fastest, strongest and meanest. Don’t try to argue just watch the tape.

Isn’t it time to bring back the “Wide World of Sports”?
C'mon..................... "The thrill of Victory..dun..DUN...dun...DUN...and the agony of Defeat!"

I really miss the late, great Mel Allen’s voice on “This Week in Baseball”.

I believe that the NBA has some of the most powerful, graceful, talented and exciting athletes in the world among their ranks and, further, that these godlike specimens consistently demonstrate an absolutely uncanny mastery of their sport.
So why are so many games so fucking boring to watch?

Athletes are getting bigger, faster and stronger all the time but, as of this moment (2007), any Major Leaguer anywhere can hit a hard grounder to any infield position and I guarantee that he will never, ever beat that throw to first.
That’s because the dimensions of a Baseball diamond (60’ 6” from rubber to home plate, 90’ between bases) are COSMICALLY perfect and cannot be bested through size and strength. It’s all about the SKILL!
In the last couple of decades there’s been a boom in brand new ballparks and I don’t know if anyone’s noticed but, by and large, the parks are actually slightly smaller than they were in the past.
Think about this-
The best football team from the 1960’s (Lombardi’s Packers?) wouldn’t have a snowballs chance in hell against an even above average 2007 NFL squad.

But the ‘60’s Yankees against today’s version. BET!
The 70’s A’s vs. their '07 counterparts. Please.
The Big Red Machine vs. the 2007 Cincinnati’s. Don’t make me laugh.
Baseball will always rise to the occasion and it doesn’t need any Senate committees to help it along.



Josie said...

Cubbies Win again today. Yeah!, they are the best!
btw....there are a few women who do understand sports! Oh...and Homer Simpson...great example of the typical, "male, beer drinking, leave me alone woman attitude"..too funny.


mrmook said...

Who's Homer Simpson?

That's a picture of me........ hard at work as usual.