Friday, June 22, 2007

Odds and Ends

Getting cracked on the ass by some thug 10 times your size- for your own good, they say- seems quite an appropriate entrance and an absolute fitting start to life in this crazy world.

What if your God is a comedian? Sex is unmentionable but war is allowed and, indeed, celebrated? It's a joke of cosmic proportion.......get it? I'm talking about a profound gagster with a deeply unique and viciously wicked sense of humor. What if- when we make it to that final reward- He cracks a shit-eating grin and cackles.

"BRO.....I was just fucking with ya!"

Think about it. Anyway.....laugh it up 'cuz he's got plenty more up his sleeves and he never runs out of material.

This is no original thought but...................

Can you even begin to imagine what biological tides flow in the mind and body of a woman? Great Christ...They willingly engage, with no small amount of joy, in the gift of pregnancy which insures 9 months of drastic body distortion and consistent discomfort followed and ending with the absolute promise of desperate pain and prolonged agony before the job is, finally, done. And then...somehow...subsequent to this violent trauma, they voluntarily submit to sex again. You really gotta tip your cap.

Lee Harvey Oswald did it. Alone. It was the luckiest day of his loser life. Deal with it.

The theory of "Occam's Razor"- basically, and I paraphrase, that the simplest solution to any problem is almost always the correct one- makes more irrefutable sense to me with the passing of each day.

But it never applies to human relationships and I still don't know why, or why not.

Without the existence of "Schoolhouse Rock" I would've never passed my H.S. Constitution test. And I still get tears in my eyes when I recall the

"A man and a woman had a little baby...........It takes for a family, it's a magic number" rap.

And has there ever...ever...ever been a more effective educational tool created in the history of mankind than "Conjunction Junction"? I think not.

Whatever they paid the creators of that show it wasn't damn near enough.

Happiness is supremely overrated. I'll settle for satisfaction everyday.

Roberto Duran, as a lightweight, (we'll forgive the welter and middleweight era's) was the most glorious fighter I've ever had the pleasure of watching. There was something so primally savage yet proudly noble in his regal bearing, matched with his raw animal hunger, that seeing his furious fists fly was a truly rare and most genuine thrill. He always promised action and always delivered.

Whatever happenend to Boxing anyway?

Some things the Japanese got right-
1.) Removing your shoes when entering a private residence.
2.) Keeping the toilet in a seperate room from the bath. Why didn't we think of that?
3.) Basically secular society. Much too much like right.
4.) Food. In all it's glory.
5.) Women. Ditto.
6.) Humility as an attractive virtue.

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