Friday, May 16, 2008

Mr. & Mrs. Emotional Whack-A-Mole, Welcome to the Oprah Winfrey Show

Well, it’s happened. On Thursday a Federal Grand Jury and the L.A. District Attorney Thomas O’Brien indicted the woman behind the alleged MySpace scam that may or may not have led to the suicide of 14 yr. old Megan Meier back in 2006.
I’ve already amply covered the repulsive, redundant and universal idiocy of this malignant affair so I’ll try not to rehash the moronic particulars.


Suffice to say that, Yes, I did indeed write Federal Grand Jury!
And I guess good Ole Tommy O’Brien is gonna get to the bottom of this one and make the world safe and secure for hyper-emotional teenage beanbags everywhere by prosecuting everyone who ever sends unkind messages to anyone on the Internets, EVER!
After that he’s gonna cure Cancer then solve that pesky AIDS problem.
All brought to you taxpayers, of course, by the same Office that handled that OJ deal so expertly.
I may be whistling Dixie here but I’m going to guess that there just might, possibly, maybe, could be one or two other tiny little cases that require the District Attorney’s priority attention in Los Angeles before he tackles the scourge of Cyber-Meanness and thus puts an end to Teen Suicide in Missouri forever but, apparently, this circus of circle-jerking grief will continue nonetheless.
If you have the time and really enjoy peering through the Legal Lookingglass take a few minutes and read the “Overt Acts” section of the Federal Indictment. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

In another astounding bit of hysterical lunacy over 85% of those polled believed prosecution was in order and appropriate. I 100% hope that I never meet that 85%.

Should the Prosecution win, however, I believe I have the ideal punishment to fit the crime.

Chain her to her PC and force her to log on to MySpace, Facebook, Friendster, etc. etc. etc. for 12 hours a day responding to each and every single “friend” request she receives for an entire year.
If she ever comes near a computer again after that she’s a better man than me!

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