Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Interview with JC- Part II

AB: And we're back. So, Jesus..........the Miracles...um.....well, where do I start?

JC: Bill, before we even begin to explore the....uh........mysteries........let me just state right up front that you have to remember that these.......events...happened in a very, very different Time and Place in every sense of the word and we really have to bear that in mind as we go along and also, please try to keep the Big Picture as our main focus rather than.....you know........getting ourselves all bogged down over every tiny detail about who saw what and how many and, well................... you gotta remember we're talking about at least a couple thousand long years ago over here, you know sometimes even I'm a bit foggy as I look back.
I mean.......whew.....talk about a crazy time!

AB: I hear you. I can't remember what I did last weekend without looking at my schedule.

JC: That's all I'm saying.

AB: Check.

JC: Just to give you an idea of the craziness though, you wanna take a wild guess at the average life expectancy back then? The Romans calculated it....but then they were always good at that kind of stuff.
Crazy about statistics those people. Nutty for numbers.
Great little census takers they were.

AB: Hmmmm...... lemme see............45? 50?

JC: If you happened to be a Roman Senator maybe. (chuckles)
No, Billy it was 29 years young for men and if you were lucky enough to make it that far in the upright position you were officially an Elder Statesman and had to consider your life a splendid success. Anything after that was pure gravy, trust me, gravy.
If you weren't married by 12 you pretty much had to resign yourself to spinster exile or, you know, turn pro and from what I heard, neither option was any picnic and, suffice to say, there weren't any retirement plans back in those days, you were damn lucky to die on the job.
Times were tough!
Yep.....We didn't call it the Good News for nuthin'!
And Brother, there wasn't much of that around.

AB: Rough. But I did want to get to at least some of the Miracles today...

JC: (spreads his arms in welcoming gesture, smiles)

AB: For example, the famous “walking on water” incident. How or why or WOW!
Can you tell us about it?

JC: Absolutely. But let's just remember that this all started on a fishing trip.

AB: Oh, really? OK. Didn't know that.

JC: Been on many fishing trips, Billy?

AB: Actually no. I'm kind of a City Boy myself.

JC: Well, let me paint you a picture-
A bunch of men taking a little time off from the grind, no wives, no gf's, a couple of cases of wine, a good day on the water, peace, quiet, the whole schmear.

AB: I think I follow. Little drinking happening that day?

JC: Just a bit. Not too much fishin' tho'. (winks)

Well anyhow it looks like a lovely day, for once, and we're sailing along across the lake at our leisure when this black little storm starts making a move for us and so I decide, pretty wisely I thought, to call it a day.
Unfortunately, somebody, I forget who...think it was Peter.....always something with that guy....gets the bright idea to turn the boat back into the front, for kicks I guess, just as we're finally heading to the far shore somehow still in one piece.

Well long story short- He loses the sail, flips it in the waves and everybody's gotta swim for it....I had to make sure everyone was clear of the boat so I was the last one to make it in............Pete and the rest of the Guys gawkin' from the beach.
The next day when they got back home, sobered up a bit and had to have an explanation for no fish and losing the boat, and that was no small expense either, they, you know.......mentioned to about anyone who'd listen that they thought they may have seen me.......well..........walking on the waves.
Well, you know, we didn't have the internets but word got around.

AB: Walking?

JC: Bill lemme tell ya', the real thing was better than walking.
Brother I was flyin' through that water!
And that was some tall chop too, this wasn't no Olympic swimming pool with a surface like glass like nowadays. I tell ya' that Michael Phelps kid couldn't of kept up with me that day!
Yea buddy, I was a heck of an athlete back then....heckava good little athlete........and you should've seen me wrestle!
Coulda' went to the Coliseum and cleaned up. Betcha' didn't know that. (sighs)

Good Ole Pete, you hadda' love him but sometimes...................Oi!
You just wanted to give him a swift kick, you know?

AB: Got it.
Howabout the “feeding of the multitudes” events? 5,000 and 4,000 fed with just a handful of loaves and a fistful of fish. Care to share?

JC: Yea.......well, first of all you have to sort of keep an open mind about that multitudes figure.
I mean, who was counting? Hey, we weren't selling tickets!
We were giving it away!
Six of one, half a dozen of the other.
And this word, “multitude”? What's a multitude?
No direct translation in the original Hebrew. That's a fact.
Multitude, schmultitude I say.............it was a lot of good people is what it was.

AB: Gotcha.

JC: But this was a great story. And great, great crowds too!

Next- Part III

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